Thursday, September 21, 2006

30 Reason Why it's better to be a Woman

Why it's better to be a Woman!


1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.


28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.



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6 comments:

Anonymous said...

lots of these wont apply if you're dog rough ugly tho'

Anonymous said...

1. We got off the Titanic first.-

Only to freeze to death slowly over the next few hours. Big win

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

We know how to actually fix our own computers and don't need to rely on someone else to fix our problems.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to wear other people clothes. I spend money on mine and I wear my own stuff.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We can be rockstars and have groupies and not stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

We can actually drive.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

We've never lusted after Enrique Iglesias. Gross.

7. Taxis stop for us.

Car repair men don't rip us off.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

We die earlier so we don't have to spend time in the nursing home. That insurance check... that's what its going to pay for ladies.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

A lot of you do actually look like frogs in blenders, but we don't care. Also we don't care that we look like frogs in blenders either. If we're dancing it's probably cause we're trying to sleep with someone.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

It's not really free cause eventaully the guy is going to expect sex in return.... trading stuff for sex... that sounds familiar.. whats that word.... Prostribution? Prosticution? I know it's prosti- something.

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. -

When you hug your friends we can imagine that you are gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

We can do the same, we have strict rules on the hugging matter. Hips don't touch, agressive pat on the back 3 times. It just better that way. And also we don't have to hug people we hate, women do.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

A porche and a blonde does the same for us.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

We never have to go to a party for someone we don't like.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. -

Again, you don't know what your missing. There are few things funnier than farts.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

The only time shaving is ever an issue is if there's a potential for sex, and it affects both parties. A little bit of stubble on a guy a lot of girls find sexy, on a girl not so much.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

Yet, you lie and congratulate your teamates on how good their butts are reguardless of how good it actually is. We may slap our's teamates butts, but we're not analizing them.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. -

If we have a zit, society doesn't tell us we have to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. -

Neither do we. We'd definitely know if they weren't there. When we reach down there, it's to re-adjust. You girls do the same thing any time you wear a tube top.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. -

Only cause they think they can have sex with you. It's not really flattering.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. -

We don't have to watch Pretty woman to fit in. Good god I'd take caddyshack anyday.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We aren't so self obcessed with ourselves that we feel that we have to be dressed to impress everyone else in the world all the time.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. -

We get to talk to the people of the opposite sex and picture them naked. And we don't have to, we choose to and only people we think are attractive. How is that possibly a bad thing?

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. -

We don't care if we're looking like an iddiot, we're having fun. Also lets look at this. Socially speaking it's acceptable for us to marry younger, so basically we're always with someone hotter than our age bracket. Pretty sweet.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.-

We don't really have to care if we have spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.-

A 45 , a shovel, and two bags of lime will solve ours, and we know how to do it.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

I'm sorry I was busy making more money in the workplace than you. Could you repeat that one?

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. -

We're not so shallow that we believe that we can asses a person by the type of shoe-ware they're sporting.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.-

We can get another glass.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions. -

We have the ability to figure it out without asking. It might not be easier, but next time you need to get there, you'll know the area.

Anonymous said...

Excellent response! Without a doubt, it's better to be a man in this world!

Maia said...

i wouldn't say you're being 'better' as a man, as you're not even having the balls to give a name, 'anonymous'. and the only cartoon character i ever lusted after was tuxedo mask, and i never thought enrique was hot, just another idiot guy who thinks his penis owns him.

Maia said...

to the blog author,

i'm not asking you to post this, i just want you to read this. i find that chauvinist's comments very inappropriate, and i'm asking you remove 'his' overlong comment.

just some feedback directly to you.

Crash said...

@Maia
I just saw your response and I don't see anything in inappropriate in his response, guy sometime feel fear of women, and this guy feel fear because he left his response like this one and he's probably some geek without girl who know how long, so it's better for you don't care about this comments in future.
But I think this guy who write this "chauvinist" comment simple get offended by my post "30 Reason Why it's better to be a Woman" actually I like this post and I'm a man to , every individual is special on its way no mater is it women , man, black , Muslim etc. I mean this is 21 century

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