"It felt so good to talk to other brides and to see that everyone is going through similar difficult issues."
When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
"I got so much more out of this workshop than I ever expected! I learned so much, and feel much less stressed!"
"Framing the transition from fiancee to wife as an identity change was really validating. The family mapping was very useful, personally, and fascinating to see others' family maps too -- how the same themes came up in different family situations. Allison's own experiences were very validating and useful reminders of what we're all going through. There was great interplay between the women attending. This workshop was very rewarding and consequential for me. Thank you so much!"
"Thank you for coming up with such a great idea. I definitely needed it."
Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No, she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
"I loved it! This workshop offers explanations and clarifications on what is really going on emotionally during this transition from fiancée to wife, as well as support and encouragement."
If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words '**** you,' and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.
"For me, the most helpful discussion was the exploration of "Why are we crying?" It helped me figure out the complexity of the underlying emotions that brought the tears on. This discussion gave me more courage to feel my feelings, with the understanding that once I let a feeling out and pass through me, it will pass. These are emotions that all brides feel, no matter how happy we are, and it feels GREAT to think and feel about them."
"Sharing our crises and concerns was really helpful for me. It just helps to have support during this time."
"I was scared to death, full of anxiety and thinking, 'What did I get myself into?'Working with you really helped me to calm down. I understood that I was not alone and that what I was feeling was normal.
Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.
Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.
When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.
Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.
Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."
Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?
Play with her ****. Play with it HARD.
If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will ensure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call. That's also quite funny!
If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
Warm her up when she's cold... but not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say, "If you don't stop *****ing about the cold right now, you're going to be *****ing about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.
Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.
Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No, she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
Recognize the small things; they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for wussies and Asian ladies.
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